Most people do not like for others to pity them. When people pity others or feel sorry for them the person receiving the pity does not want it. What that person wants is empowerment. Sometimes people are unable to give empowerment, because they have given so much advice to keep the person of pity from being in these sunken places.
What is the sunken place? The sunken place is the place when one has a very beaten, battered, torn, and tired ego. The next question is how does an ego get into such a state? This type of damage is caused by a lack of happiness. The thing about happiness is it comes from the inside. See one should be able to live in some in the most deplorable conditions and still be happy within themselves. This kind of happiness comes with lots of shadow work, it comes with accepting that there are more than two sides to a story. A battered ego doesn't just come from the uncontrollable circumstances of life. This type of self destruction come from running from yourself.
The only way to get a past this type of damage is to acknowledge and get to know the self. Yeah yeah yeah it is cliche. Many people ask how do you do that. You do this by shedding the layers of programming that has been put on to you by outside forces. You become free of the ties of the "matrix" and start to discover and cultivate who you are. That is how you find out who you are. Inside of the cultivation of self is the answer to how you gain happiness.
Well you may have been wondering or have begun to wondering what the ego has to do with all of this? The ego often times gets a bad rep in the spiritual community. The ego is the motivation of the person. This is your foundation of who you are. Because the ego is the foundation of who you are, the ego is also the place of your carnal desires. Many people never take the time to actually explore those desires nor work toward cultivating them beyond the carnal nature. For this reason, the ego is often treated as if it this low vibration thing that should be killed. There are teachings on killing the ego.
Killing the ego has to be one of the most asinine things that a person can do. The ego is your motivation and the force from which you move. The ego is like the fuel to the will. So you do not want to kill the ego. You want to grow it up. Growing up the ego will empower you to make moves that are beneficial. The simple carnal nature of the ego is what helps you to cultivate the self while obtaining the things that will create the happiness in your soul.
People who have a battered ego (look at the 9 of wands) have allowed others to dictate to them for so long what they should and should not be. They do this out of wanting to be loved, wanting acceptance, wanting to portray an image, and things of that nature. This following what others thought or think of them is what brought them to the place of defeat.
Those who look on and can really see, know they are looking at a broken person. When you see people like this, society has programmed the masses to feel sorry for them or simply disregard of hate them. This is not what these people need. They need some empowerment and encouragement to simply be. The sad thing is most people will never get the encouragement and permission to be themselves. This is what holds people back. Those who are looking for permission to be who they are from others, will have the hardest time growing up those root chakra emotions.
The first thing they need to know is that they, themselves are the only ones who can give them permission to be free. Pity is not what they need. They need someone to ask questions that will help them look at that inner-self. See, these are people who have been standing in the shadows of other folk mirror and looking at themselves through another person's reflection. That is not an accurate depiction of the self. The Self is cultivated by you becoming just like that Hermit in the Tarot. The answers to the happiness inside you is going to come from the darkness inside you.
So if you are the person with the broken ego, then you need to do some deep shadow work. IF you are unsure how to do shadow work, then book a consultation and we will be glad to help you on your journey. If you are looking at a person and you want to take pity on them, know that your pity is not needed, and if you can not encourage the person, then leaving them alone will be the best thing you can do to help them.
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